LIFE SAVERS
My New Year’s Resolution this past year was to quit smoking. Actually, to quit smoking has been my resolution every New Year’s since I started smoking cigarettes in 2009. And every January 1st I kick the habit for good. I throw away all of my packs and lighters and ash trays. I distance myself from my friends that smoke. And I look online for different support groups I can join.
By January 2nd, I have given up and find myself in a bodega wearing my pajamas, in line to purchase a new pack of cigarettes.
I know they say that quitting smoking is hard. But, I don’t think you realize exactly how difficult it is.
I was never a “social smoker” or a “sometimes smoker.” I was the guy who would wake up and head outside to light up. I am the guy who leaves my office every three hours to head downstairs and join the group of smokers that congregates outside the building. I am the guy who literally cannot step outside without having a Marlboro Light attached to my lip.
And everything was going perfectly fine for me. Until I went to the doctor for my annual physical. All of my vital signs were good, but I had a list of things that were wrong with my body. I had severe sinus problems. I couldn’t fall asleep. I found myself coughing all night in bed. After explaining all of my symptoms to my doctor, she simply say back, crossed her arms and asked me, “Well, do you smoke?”
I lowered my head in shame and whispered, “Yes.”
She told me that all of my problems – and even more – were due to my habitual smoking habit. “Honestly, if you quit smoking, you will feel a hell of a lot better.” I paid my $30 copay and headed out into the streets of Manhattan. Without missing a bit, I reached into my coat pocket and retrieved a cigarette and my brand new lighter. I put the cigarette up to my lips and I was about to light it when I thought, “Maybe I should just quit. Once and for all. None of this planning. And definitely none of this New Year’s bullshit. Maybe today I should just finally quit.”
I ran into the nearest Duane Reade, which in New York, is always just across the street, and searched the aisles for things I could use in place of a cigarette. Not only is the nicotine in cigarettes addictive, but the act of smoking is a huge habit. I knew in order for me to be successful, I would have to find a new habit that would alleviate my cravings.
I didn’t want to buy the Nicorette gum or patches, because frankly, they are too expensive. And I didn’t want to buy gum because I think gum chewing is obnoxious and tacky. So I went and bought a 100-pack of drinking straws that I could use to chew on while I sat on my couch or before I went to bed, hoping to trick myself that this plastic tube was a Marlboro Light. I also went down the candy aisle and saw a bag of “Life Savers”. Thinking the name was fitting and rather ironic, I picked up a few large bags that I could always keep on me to suck on and chew. I made my purchase, threw away the remnants of my pack in the trash can and headed home.
I would be lying to you all if I said I haven’t had a cigarette since. Because I have. A lot of them. But, I have definitely cut down on the tobacco by using my straws and hard-candy. Instead of having a cigarette on the walk to the train station, I enjoy two flavored Life Savers. Instead of my after-dinner smoke, I pop in a Life Saver. Instead of going outside first thing when I wake up, I grab a straw to chew on when I am getting dressed.
Do I look crazy? Of course I do. But crazy is better than unhealthy and smelly.
I am not writing this post to fill up my sparse blog (it is kind of empty though…) and I am not writing this for you all to tell me how disgusting and gross smoking is (I get it). I am merely writing this to maybe offer some type of suggestion or recommendation if you, or someone you know, is trying to quit smoking. It will not happen overnight. And it will not be easy. But it can be done if you have the determination and patience and willpower to save your life.
It just so happens my method of saving my life is…Life Savers. And maybe, the thing that can save your life is a cherry-flavored candy with an appropriate name.
